Gretchling Review #2: B44L of Bugbear Slug

 I am seriously regretting using the ‘I am become death’ quote at the start of my last review, but here I am, living with the consequences of my own actions. Also learned that whiskey does wonders for maintaining motivation. Very useful information. But enough of my ramblings. This week on Gretchling Reviews: B44L (or BaaL, going to go with the more letterful one for the remainder of the review) of the Bugbear Slug blog!

Overall

Reading BaaL’s blog is a glorious experience in watching growth happen before your very eyes. If you ever want to see how much someone can improve with time, look no further than the Bugbear Slug blog. In my head, I split BaaL’s writings into two eras: pre-Abattoir God and post-Abattoir God, for reasons I will go into later. For now, all you need to know is that the quality of BaaL’s writing jumped massively from that point onwards, culminating in the triumph of setting and theme that is Bonepunk. All in good time, however. First we must look at the pre-Abattoir God blog.

Before the Rise

Now, by no means is pre-Abattoir God BaaL bad, let's get that out of the way first. It just isn’t… outstanding like the rest of it. The Spellhost is a good first class, but lord knows I can’t read any further to find its quality. That font is so damn small. The Scoundrel is a class I’ve seen done better by BaaL himself, later in the blog. It really does nothing to make me want to play it. The Handler is interesting, but is very much building upon the Ranger that was linked as inspiration, and I can’t really judge BaaL’s writing in that context (though the mutations are cool as all hell).

I’ll skip the Warrior for now, you’ll see why later. That brings us to probably my favourite pre-Abattoir God class: the Oathbound, probably the only one out of them I’d actually go and play. The idea of replacing Mishaps and Dooms with Oaths is a very flavourful ability, and I do have a soft spot for restrictions like that. It always leads to very interesting roleplay, if you’re into that sort of thing. Also forcing my friends to join me in my masochistic promises is great.

The Inventor gives some really cool magic items but I’m not sure if I’d let any of my players play one. It seems slightly too strong for my tastes, though of course I have no idea how it plays.

And skipping yet another fighter, that leads us to the tipping point. The Rise begins with the Oathbound, true, but it is the Abattoir God where BaaL shows his true prowess at writing interesting shit.

 The Abattoir God

I love this. More than you can ever possibly. I gave out about the Inventor being too powerful earlier but I never made any claim at being consistent. This is just flavour upon flavour, a juicy class that I want nothing more than to stick my teeth into. Like a well-prepared meal, it fills the imagination just thinking about eating or, in this case, playing. I want to walk into a town and have hordes of followers, I want to turn the local villagers into cattle for my harvest and enjoyment (this is in game, just in case you were wondering). There is so much meat on the bones here, so much substance to steal from, not least because cursed classes are cool anyway. Yes, I will become a vengeful vampire flesh god. I have absolutely no complaints.

The Golden Age

This era.. actually doesn’t have that much in it. No, post-Abattoir God is nearly entirely a glorious buildup to Bonepunk. There’s a few house rules that I’m going to yoink maybe, a thief class that interested me no more than the Scoundrel and a very good post on Organically Grown PCs that I recommend everyone read. But hidden there are snippets of Bonepunk, little drops of glory that hint at BaaL’s grand project. We’ll get there in time. For now, we must go to the second most important topic, that I have put off for too long:

The Fighter

Five. He has written five different fighters. I’m not sure how he does it really. I can barely stomach one. And yet here we are, another example of his progression as a designer. If there is anyone I would ask for advice on how to write fighters, it would be BaaL. From humble, fairly lukewarm beginnings with the Warrior, which felt just far too normal without any risk, to the Possum Knights and Fleshwrought, adding spice to the already refined equation, the improvement is undeniable and commendable. Unfortunately, I will not be satisfied until he has iterated at least five more times. The Bonepunk fighter, while still miles better than his first attempt, still needs more. I wish you luck, my friend, in your battle on the Fighter frontlines.

And Now, The Main Event

BOOONNEEEPUUUNNNKKKKK (imagine like that one bitconnect meme). Oh my god I love this thing so much. The use of backgrounds to establish setting is masterful and shows just how much work was put in to perfect the writing. The druid being a parasitic force that hijacks dead animals is inspired. Ivory Engineers are just… cool. I know I’m supposed to be reviewing this, just give me a second to gush.

If there is one thing I’m not a fan of, it’s the combat system without attack rolls. Very much a personal thing, but making everything automatically hit kind of takes away from the tension for me, and I say this from experience having played in the very first game of Bonepunk ever run. I think if I was to ever run it, I’d hack attack rolls in somehow. Other than that, do yourself a favour and read or even play Bonepunk. This is in my top 3 GLOGhacks and easily within my top 20 rpgs.

The Worst

I included this title for effect, but I actually take very little issue with any of BaaL’s stuff. I find some of it kind of eh, but nothing here is particularly egregious. If I was to pinpoint the post I enjoyed the least, it would be the first Warrior, but even that wasn’t bad. It just wasn’t very interesting. Perhaps in time BaaL will surprise me and release some truly woeful content, but I find that incredibly hard to believe, especially now as we move into the post-Bonepunk era. All will be revealed in the fullness of time, I suppose.

A Conclusion

I love BaaL’s stuff, if I haven’t made that clear enough already. Bonepunk is a triumph for the GLOG as a whole, a glorious marriage of system and setting to create something truly unique, and I eagerly await future content in this new era of Bugbear Slug. I rate the blog an arbitrary Bonewheel Skeleton/10, and encourage you all to read Bonepunk and the Abattoir God. Godspeed to you all, and keep yourselves safe in these yet trying times. This is Anni, signing off until next week for my next victim: the Oblidisideryptch.